Buy stuff from us. Because we need the money and what else were you going to do with it anyway?
You want to know more about us? Why? Who sent you? We didn't even KNOW she was your sister!
Oh... uh... yeah. We've been purveyors of quality junk since... what time is it now? Since about 8:15 this morning.
Our junk is hand chosen from the backs of only the sketchiest trucks in the darkest alleys by our team of semi-trained monkeys.
It's good stuff!
Come buy something today. We can't guarantee delivery, but we can definitely guarantee we'll keep your money in a safe place*.
* Our bookie's safe.
